Dancing as fast as I can

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to end;
It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

Jennifer over at Pinwheels commented by email on my last post (the fun video post, not the pathetic self-indulgent post) that “it’s just as it should be…sunlight always comes after the storm.” So why do I constantly feel like I am searching for the rainbows and somehow missing them? I mean, it rains then it shines and it rains again. Then the sun peeks out and the clouds roll in and …crazy emotional weather in my world these days!

Long story short, the “affliction” I mentioned before continues to rear its ugly head. Nik’s fever continues; he woke with a temp of 100.5 at 4:45 this morning. And today it was the fabulous Miss D (our favorite OT) who was treated to Nik’s frightening manifestation of mysterious pain. One moment he was playing happily with a shape sorter, the next minute he was screaming and writhing on the floor in abject distress. NOT behavioral.

This happened a few times toward the end of our session and right before our weekly playgroup. While Miss D and Miss T set up for the group, Nik played independently for a bit, happily pulling balls from the ball pit and tossing them. He’d toddle off to chase the balls and the return them to the pit, laughing hysterically the whole time.

Except for the time he tripped and slammed face first to the floor.

Needless to say, the morning was no longer much fun for either of us. My poor battered baby sobbed and wailed in my arms, bleeding from his mouth. My throat felt like a boa constrictor’s prey as I fought back my own tears and tried to calm Nik enough to verify that his teeth were in tact. Thank God for small mercies. He does, however, have bruises from his chin all the way up the center of his face to the bridge of his nose. They are a nice complement to the ones on each side of his forehead from banging his head against the sides of the crib each night.

You know it’s bad when you have the pediatrician on speed dial on your cell phone. Off we went for the fourth visit in as many weeks. The prize for using our frequent visitor points? More antibiotics for the dual ear infections, the second round in a month. Sigh…

Well, at least it explains the nocturnal waking, the low-grade fever that wouldn’t quit, and the screaming head-banging…for now. Until we see the ENT tomorrow and are told “No, he doesn’t have an infection; those pediatricians always jump the gun.” I kid you not, we’ve been told that before. But the good news is that the immunologist moved Nik’s appointment up to this Friday and has ordered some blood work. Well, the appointment is good. Bloodwork? Not so much.

And yet, through it all we keep finding the tiny pockets of joy (like Susan mentions here) and savor them like forbidden sweets filched from Grandma’s candy dish when the adults weren’t looking. They are all the richer for their hard-earned and unexpected sweetness.

And, truth, in poetic irony…it has indeed started to rain tonight. The thunder is booming in the distance and the rain has just started to pelt down on the skylights. (I love a good storm!)

Perhaps tomorrow will bring the rainbow after all.