Anne always had a habit which annoyed me to no end; every time we would go out to eat, she would ask me if I wanted to “join the sharers club.” She always wanted to share whatever we each ordered; I, on the other hand, never wanted to share. Call it miserly, greedy, thrifty —I was, after all, a single woman living alone and pinching pennies in a very expensive city— but I really got annoyed. Anne never took it personally though. She would simply smile and say, “Aw, sweetie, you don’t know what you’re missing. One day you’ll realize the joy of sharing.”
Amid the clatter of emptying the dishwasher —Nik’s laughter echoing through the playroom and into the kitchen— I hear the sound of uneven footsteps and the banging of a heavy object as it bounces along the floor. I turn to see Nik dragging one of his new toys over to the kitchen gate. As he hoists his little cash register toy up over his head, I fly to the gate to keep the toy from crashing to the floor. Nik stops mid-toss and laughs. “Are you all done, buddy? Do you want Mommy to take your toy?” I should know better than to ask a question like that; Nik doesn’t have the communication skills to answer such a query.
I take the toy from him and begin to place it on the armoire near the telephone —still in sight but safely out of reach. Nik begins to vocalize something and gestures at the same time —tapping the fingertips of his right hand into the palm of his left as if he’s making a “Tee.” My eyes widen in surprise. Am I seeing what I think or is it just a coincidence? I’ve seen Nik do that gesture before but assumed he was just copying the video and didn’t really understand the concept.
“Sweetie, do you want to share the toy with Mommy? Is that what you want? You want to play with Mommy?” Nik emphatically begins to pat his palm against his chest —his universal sign for “Yes, please. I really want it.” How could I possibly resist such an entreaty? Picking the toy up from its high perch, I carry it to the sofa and ask Nik to join me. He squeals as he races to the sofa and settles in so close to me that I have to put my arm around him so I don’t accidentally elbow him in the face as we play.
For fifteen minutes we share. We take turns and sing songs. Nik makes free with his kisses —a rare treat lately since he’s becoming such a Daddy’s boy. When he’s had enough, Nik signals to me that we are finished playing by picking up the toy and placing it in my hands. With one final kiss, he slides off the sofa in search of new entertainment. I sit dumbfounded.
Though I’ve not thought of her in a long time, Anne’s image comes to mind. I smile and realize I now understand her gentle words of many years ago. As usual, she was right.
Wow!! Nik’s communication skills are really blossoming, aren’t they? How hugely wonderful.
Great post.
What a sweet story. I see the joy in sharing but I still don’t want to share my meals. 😉
I’m sitting here smiling as I read this. Way to go Nik!
He came you and ASKED to engage in a turn-taking activity. That is SO AWESOME!!! I want to be his speech therapist. *grins*
Your posts sure can reduce a girl to tears so early in the morning (Ah, but they’re happy tears!)
That is such a huge step! Go Nick! It seems you’ve found your niche with signing. Take it and run with it little guy.
Good job, Mama.
Is it mean of me to praise your writing rather than your son? Of course every post of Nik’s progress makes me smile, how could it not? But I wanted to call attention to the fact that I like this post, how you tied it all together, the emotion, etc.
I am in awe of Nik’s signing/communication skills. How wonderful.
(I don’t like to share meals at restaurants either…)
WOW. LUMP IN THROAT.
Our family is a share-food family. We try what others are eating.
Some years ago now, I was in grad school, and my college advisor came to give a talk. i was naturally invited to dinner, as it was my presence that had convinced him to come and give the talk; and hey, its one of the perks of being a grad student.
Menus in hand, my old advisor and I huddled about looking over the food, chattering about what looked good, what didn’t, and what might be fun to try. We tried to get my new advisor in on it, but he wasn’t that kind of person; he preferred to order what he ordered, and eat it. He was utterly appalled when the food came, and my old advisor and I started trading and swapping, trying things we ordered. APPALLED. He just didn’t get it.
Last Christmas, my old advisor died rather suddenly. I was so sad there would be no more huddles, no more swaps, and no more talks. But I will remember THAT dinner as long as I live!
that is just beautiful! i love that Nik! he is such an amazing communicator!
You, friend, sound like you are back on top of your game. And Nik is an astonishingly wonderful boy. Is it really possible I only read about him but don’t know him myself?
Wow!
Every once in awhile, a memory of “times before” breaks through in life with Charlie, just as you remembered the words of your friend—-sometimes I think I need to go back in time and redo so many moments, in light of all I’ve learned and gained from life with Charlie.
Nik has so much to say!
This is beautiful. I can just picture this special moment. Wishing you many more “sharing” opportunities.
Oh what a precious moment!
It made me smile.
What an awesome breakthrough- and for the loads of unsolicited kisses!