And so, without a backward glance, my heart scrambled up the steps of the big yellow bus. His excitement at this new development —this milestone years in the making— was so great, I had to make him stop and turn around to kiss me goodbye. It is no accident, then, that the heavens opened and the sky began to pour down upon me as the bus pulled away from the curb. I watched until the bus was out of sight, letting the rain mingle with my tears.
No one told me putting on my own oxygen mask would hurt so much.
Mother sits down at the table
So many things she’d like to do
Spend more time out in the garden
Now she can get those books read too.She’s had 18 years to get ready for this day
She should be past the tears, she cries some anyway.Oh, oh letting go
There’s nothing in the way now,
Oh letting go, there’s room enough to fly
And even though, she’s spent her whole life waiting,
It’s never easy letting go.
Yay, Nik!!! This is so exciting … so very happy for you and your little man!
Look at him go! So proud of him. And VERY VERY proud of you. Breathe, mama. This is good. Really really good.
*crying with you * Now how am I every gonna get rid of these raccoon eyes? ((hugs))
So happy for Nik! So happy for you! He is inspiring.
Yay! Wow. I’m sure that is several mixed emotions rolled up into one. The picture made me tear up before reading the post. Many hugs to you today…
Look at that boy GO! Wow…
Good job, little man!
Wow! And yes, first days on the bus are so hard on the mamas. I followed the bus in my car to make sure they arrived at school safe and sound.
woo hoo WTG Nik
And I know EXACTLY what you mean
“my heart scrambled up the steps of the big yellow bus…”
yes.
love to you and your brave boy!
I remember the first time I had to put Joey on the Big Yellow Bus.
He was two.
There is something final, something that strains and pains when you see those doors close, that yellow bus pull away, and your child is on it. And you are not.
That was over seven years ago. I still blink when that bus pulls away.
I know he needs school. I know he loves the bus. I know he is going out into the world and being himself and learning oh so much and growing up and all that.
I still blink. Every time.
Reading your post gave me a tremendously happy feeling. And all that verklempt stuff too…
Aww, hugs to you! Just seeing this, but I remember well what that felt like the first time! So bittersweet… but yay for Nik!! xoxo
Putting them on the bus for the first time….nothing can prepare you for it. He did it and you did it!! A huge step for both of you!
Hope school is going well! I still drive my guys in once in a while when I’m feeling sentimental. Mostly it’s the bus, though. Congratulations!
As a not parent, I have often yelled a loud “damn!” when I’m behind the school bus, and it stops, and I’m about to be late for work. But, darn it, every time- really, every time- I’m sitting there watching the little kids get on the bus and their moms and dads standing and waving “goodbye” and doing their parental thing, I get all kinds of teary. I think the hardest thing in the world must be being a parent and having to trust the world to not mess with your beloved child. (And, for the record, I’m just as sappy about the adults I work with when they amaze me!) Congratulations to you both for getting through it!
Roia, thanks for getting that.
I just peeked at your conference links, etc. I wish there were someone like you near enough to work with my son. He THRIVES on music and often uses specific songs to help him with transitions and self-regulation. It has long fascinated me.
Glad you stopped by.
Oh Beth, Nik couldn’t be more precious if he tried.