This morning, as I sat in the loft checking email, reading blogs and doing a bit of research, I started to really listen to Nik as he played down in the family room. His laughter and songs bubbled up over the balcony; I could see his smiling face with my ears. His each and every little sound is so richly nuanced that I cannot begin to imagine how much this child of mine has to tell the world. I listen to him admonish the pillows on the sofa or his scooter for not cooperating with his grand plans —whatever they may be. I listen to his enthusiastic singing of his favorite parts of the ABC song from Signing Time; it’s always a fair indicator of his mood since he looooves that song.
Feeling incredibly guilty that I haven’t yet struck upon the perfect combination of curriculum or methodology, but bolstered by yesterday’s foray into the local über-discount store where I found some preschool oriented materials cheap, I decided to simply go play with my son.
As Nik climbed all over me and we laughed and bounced, as we tickled and giggled and he asked for “more, more, more” with his flying hands and laughing eyes, it occurred to me that we were in the middle of a learning experience. When we play together, when I prompt him to use his language and communication skills, when he looks me in the eyes laughing and smiling, he is learning how to interact with others, how to express feelings, how to engage another person’s interest, how to ask for what he wants.
When I tell him “No more, Mommy’s all done,” he is learning about boundaries and limits and how to respect them; sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, but he’s learning.
When I introduce a new toy —a small red foam ball and brightly colored bowling pins —he is learning the skills of observation, exploration, and discovery. Of course he does not do what I expect him to do —in spite of my showing him a few times. Instead, he laughs and throws the ball and chases it around the room; he tries to mouth the pins or stack them or link them like beads.
Watching him trying to sit on the six inch round foam ball time and again —as he does with his yellow playground ball which is three times the size of the foam ball, I laugh and shake my head thinking he’s just being silly. Then it strikes me that he is learning through experience about big versus little, soft versus hard. As he tries to bounce the red ball and it doesn’t go very far, he is learning about how different physical properties act. He rolls or kicks the ball on the floor and he is learning fine and gross motor coordination, visual tracking, and how to aim at another object.
It finally occurs to me that so much learning takes place in our household every minute of every day if I but step back to see it. If I allow myself to let go of the expectations, imprinted on my consciousness by so many years of traditional school room learning, and the goals I think are important, I can watch and learn from Nik where he needs to go next. I can follow his lead and use the skills he already possesses to build a strong foundation for him to continue his own journey of exploration, self discovery and learning. And I can incorporate his journey into mine.
You do such an amazing job of being present with your son, how could he not learn, and teach. You’re both learning together, and that’s magic.
There are other mothers who I know – inflexible mothers that put themselves first and only think about shallow, inane crap – that I literally weep when I think that Noah could have been their child. It makes my heart hurt. Conversely, it makes my spirit lift when I see a mom who is just so perfect for their child. And you, my dear, are one of the latter. XO R
Yes, there is so much learning going on every day, even when we aren’t calling it “school”. You are an amazing mother, and Nik is an amazing child. You will both go far in this journey, leading each other, one step at a time.
You have exactly what Nik needs. Good for you for finally embracing that!
I needed to read this. Because you are right. And because I am stuck in the same analysis boat and doubting myself because of “how things are supposed to be done.”
Hurrah for generalizing, communicating, playing, and exploring! Man. I wanna give therapy at YOUR house. You and Nik could teach me TONS!
I don’t think I have anything additional to add to the other commenters. I completely relate to the paralysis though. Sounds as if you have the perfect combination at your finger tips.
Best wishes
Sounds wonderful! No, you certainly don’t need some expensive, highly-reviewed curriculum – you’ve got your Mommy instincts goin’ on, and I think they are spot on!
You are on the right path
You know so much
just listen to yourself.
welcome to the beauty of homeschooling! I have been known to say often that “we don’t do school, we just live our life.” Sometimes that includes workbooks, curriculum, etc and sometimes not…all of it is part of a well-rounded education. Not sure what you’ve explored and what you havent, but you might glean a some encouragement, ideas, etc from reading about “unschooling” and also Charlotte Mason. Always remember there are “cracks” in every education, don’t look for the perfect curriculum, just seek to live life and help Nik to meet his potential…the education will happen on it’s own. You are the expert on Nik ’cause God gave him to you and no one else!
Playing is so important, way more important than sitting down with school books at this point. I struggled all the time with planning homeschooling but found we were much more unschoolers by nature. Don’t be hard on yourself. You have been teaching Nik all along!
I think you’ve got it all figured out! You are lucky to have each other.