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Archive for the ‘taking care of myself’ Category

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
~Lao Tzu

Step one — make room:

Dear People-I-Have-Come-to-Honor-and-Respect,

I want to let you all know that I will no longer be participating with
the [names of groups here].

As you know, circumstances change; taking care of my family is a top priority. When I undertook each of those commitments my family was in a very different place; Nik was in school and Niksdad was just embarking upon his new career path. Now, I am home schooling Nik and coordinating his many therapies —to which he is responding very well —and Niksdad’s school and work schedule are quite demanding. He begins his last year of the RN program on August 25th and will be in a combination of classes and clinical rotations Monday through Friday (both days and evenings) in addition to his LPN job on weekends.

As Nik gets more and more active and has significant developmental bursts, I need to create some more specific structure for him so that he continues to progress; he is not the sort of child one can expect to sit and play quietly in a conference room while Mommy is in a meeting down the hall. Our childcare experiment back in April was what helped me to realize that Nik needs something different right now. I do think that some sort of on-site childcare may work for some families and should be offered as an option to encourage more parents to participate.

I did not make this decision lightly; I believe in the work we are doing and I hate to feel I amletting other people down. The truth of the matter, though, is that I would be letting my family down if I made any other choice right now. I firmly believe that advocacy must begin at home and there is much that demands my attention here now; both of my guys need my full support to be successful.

Thank you for all the opportunities you have provided for me to learn and grow as a leader, and to contribute to the success of children and families in our state.

I wish you all the very best,

Niksmom

Step Two — Breathe…
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Well, I think we’ve shaken off most of the Easter Flu around here. Nik seems to be pretty well on the mend —as evidenced by an awesome play date with Daddy at the park yesterday afternoon and the return of his happy-go-lucky demeanor today. I am mostly better though still trying to shake off the cough that doesn’t want to quit.

Meanwhile, as I am sure most can relate to, we’ve been in the “interruption of all things normal” mode commonly referred to as Spring Break. Niksdad has been on break from nursing school all week and we’ve been juggling projects, appointments, time at the gym, etc. It’s been really tough to find any time to simply sit and reflect on all that is going on in our lives. Writing about it has been a distant vision at best! And, well, my energy level just hasn’t been what it normally is.

As I mentioned in another post, Niksdad and I started the South Beach Diet (SBD) just about a week and a half ago. When we did it a few years ago, while Nik was still in the hospital, it seemed really easy and we both did very well. This time? Absolute torture for me. In the intervening years I have developed multiple food sensitivities to many of the same foods which once sustained us during the diet —soy, nuts, cheese —and I have struggled trying to find enough things that I could eat and not feel completely deprived and run down.

To make a long story short, I had a conversation with my fitness trainer —no, it’s not as glamorous as it sounds and I don’t see him all that often! We talked about South Beach and my struggles and how utterly run down I’ve been feeling —even before the flu struck. He thinks I’m not getting enough balanced nutrition and that my body is actually slowing down my metabolism in an effort to conserve resources. It made sense to me as I have felt utterly spacey and just lethargic as hell. Seriously, I’ve had to read nearly everything two and three times just to make sure I understand it. I read blogs and am too spacey to write a comment because the effort of reading it is too taxing; I mark items to return to later with a comment and find I cannot recall what I read —let alone what I thought I wanted to say.

The effort of doing more than passive blogging, television watching, or mindless web surfing has been too much. Never mind the picture cards and scripts I need to create for Nik’s communication devices, the meals I need to prepare, the house I need to clean, etcetera. It’s all just been too much.

Until today.

After I spoke with my trainer yesterday morning, I decided that I was done with SBD and was going to eat whatever I want. The catch is that I have to record it and keep track in one of the nutrition/fitness resources I have. And that’s exactly what I have done since yesterday. I feel like I am slowly emerging from a deep shroud of fog —but I am emerging!

When I’m back —maybe this weekend, remind me to tell you about how much Nik’s grown, what he’s doing that is cracking me up and making me teary, and some other interesting stuff that I managed to do in a few lucid hours early this week! Until then, don’t fret if you don’t hear from me; I’ll be lurking and marshaling my mental strength to share my pithy and insightful (not to be confused with pissy and incite-ful) comments once again. (MWAHAHAHAHA!)

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